Shifting Gears

Sitting on the steps in the pool, the hot sun warming my face and shoulders as the push of the water gently sways me which is also cooling me down in the hot 34°C weather that beautiful Darwin provides daily. Stillness. Everything slowed down, my thoughts were still and it was just the Father and I. He was showing me His peace, that though I have things that I needed to do, right in that moment it was Him and I and everything around me seemed to have stopped and peace flooded my body. He tells me that even in the middle of chaos, we can just sit in the pool together and though the water may push me around I can be still and have peace and trust in Him.

God is so worthy, He is so good and His promises never fail. God is a good Father and He is love.

“Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else . Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honour. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offence” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 TPT

He never changes, He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He is consistent and His plans for us is for good.

Shift the Perspective Gear

We need to have the right perspective, the right lens when we look at things, when we live life. Sometimes when you’re living in the lie, you’re just blinded and you can’t see the truth, you can’t seem to get the right perspective so thats when you need people to help you, people that you trust that will bring you into the right perspective, the perspective of just being a child of God, holy, blameless, loved and righteous.

The past few months have been quite hectic; with me just completely being in a dark hole, having the wrong perspective of life and just confused about it all. I had weird experiences where I felt like I wasn’t even alive and I wasn’t in my body days at a time and I was in a very dark headspace. I just couldn’t see much light, although I still had the tiniest bit of faith and that bit of hope left in me because I know God and I knew in those moments that He is good and He is my Father. He redeems, He restores, He reconciles, He forgives and never lets go. And just because I had those months of darkness I do not doubt His healing over the mental illness last year, I am definitely free of mental illness!  

Praise God for the people I had around me the past few months that were constantly declaring truth over me, looking out for me and praying for me. It was a really dark period and I had forgotten that I used to be in that place 24/7 for years and it shocked me completely but it was also a comforting place for me to be in. What I’ve learnt is that the enemy is actually a jackass and he will target the same things over and over again, he isn’t creative at all and he will use the same sort of lies over and over again.

How I came out of the dark season was actually really interesting, it was September 7th and my friend and I were at the shopping centre preparing for a little birthday celebration that I was having. I was having these dreams of one of the boys in Don Dale detention centre and that he wasn’t doing good, they were really intense and scary dreams so as I was explaining to my friend about these dreams and we walked into Woolworths and I saw one of the boys that also used to be in Don Dale along with the boy I was having these strange dreams about. As he came over to me something within me shifted and broke off, it was as if something that was covering my eyes was ripped away. He had shared some things about what was happening in his life and he was also telling me about the boy that I was having these dreams about and that confirmed my dreams. I had been so distracted by these lies and I’ve been so focused on me and what I’m dealing with that I forgot my main priorities which is Jesus and youth. I made the choice to listen to these lies and it became my whole world for a while and I was so distracted by all the crap that was happening around me that I could hardly pray. Gosh, I am so thankful that I am out of that terrible headspace and I am so overcome by His love.

I feel like I’ve kind of just forgotten everything that has happened over the past few months, it’s kind of a blur to me at the moment which might actually be good for me right now, that means I can focus on now and not dwell in what happened. Also looking back on my life it’s like I can’t remember much anymore and the things that I can recall and share, it’s as if it’s all happening to a whole other person not me and I can definitely say thats because it is the Gospel, it’s no longer I that lives but Christ. I am a new creation. 

I really love God, I really really love Him. I know certain people in my family get quite frustrated with how much I talk about Him, but when you know what you’re saved from, when you know freedom, when you realise that God is the only way, the only truth and the only life then you can’t really stop talking about Him. He saved me from so many things, He saved my life and it’s seriously no longer I that lives but Christ in me (Galatians 2:20), my old self is dead, it has been crucified with Christ and now I am His beloved daughter that is no longer selfish, that is no longer enslaved to any bondage (Romans 8:15-17, Galatians 4:6-7). Knowing my identity, knowing whose I am, knowing that I’m actually not alive for myself but for God, knowing that I have a new nature and that I belong to Christ has changed everything. (2 Corinthians 5:17-18). Understanding what His Word says and how flipping incredible He is, why would I want to keep this to myself, why should I keep this to myself? If some of you had’ve known me even a few years ago you would definitely see a change within a few years or even really a few months. God has seriously transformed my whole entire life and yes, I’m still growing and there’s still so much more room to grow (which excites me so much) but the fact that my mindset has changed completely, my attitude, my outlook on life, the fact I’m not severely depressed anymore and also not self-harming every day is the biggest win so far. I can’t not share that I’m no longer like that anymore and that is because of a man named Jesus who died for that reason. Gosh talking about God gets me excited, talking about our new nature just gets me so pumped and on fire. I cannot find the words to explain how I’m feeling right now, I can just feel things start to stir inside of me because all I want to share is complete truth and I just want everyone to know this. I can feel God’s love for people so strongly and I am seriously just so passionate about seeing people transformed into who they truly are, who God created them to be.

The more we use the right prescription glasses the clearer we see, when you’re driving in the right gear the more smoother you’ll drive, the more you spend time with God and hear His voice, the clearer things will be. The more you understand Him and His nature and know who you are in Him things start to shift within you, you start getting the right perspective on things. 

In the last month I’ve learnt and experienced reconciliation in my family, I’ve learnt and grown in core identity stuff and seriously being dead to self and not getting offended, I was challenged to love people in the midst of crap and saw complete childlike faith in action. It has been an eventful, stretching and yet fun experience.

As believers we are called to love people, and what does love look like? Exactly like the passage I put in before.
“Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else . Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honour. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offence” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 TPT
We are to be patient, gentle, kind to everyone, we are to not be jealous or brag, to not be selfish and just not live for ourselves. We are to be others focused and not be quickly annoyed by people or to take offence. We are called to love people and love God just as God first loved us.

‘Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.’
I John 4:7-11

‘Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us.’ I John 4:17-19 

Jesus is the perfect example of what love looks like and that is to lay your life down completely for others, to serve others, to sacrifice things for the sake of love, it is forgiving people even when they have hurt you so badly and it is not seeking your own interest in anything.
I have learnt a lot about what love is recently (especially in the past month) and what it really looks like, I somewhat knew that what was happening at home growing up was not what love was supposed to be like but I didn’t know what it meant to be loved or how to receive love. I’ve had a hard time just believing God loves me and I’ve had a hard time just actually letting go and letting Him love me but I’m still learning, I am always still learning Praise the Lord! Letting God love you is actually so dang important because it’s really from that overflow of His love that you are able to really love people without it being from your own effort and your own strength.

In September I went back to Melbourne for my friends’ wedding and for The Jesus School for a bit over 3 weeks and for a while leading up to this trip I was a bit distressed with it and didn’t know how I was going to cope being back with family, when I was thinking these thoughts I was in the period of not being in a good place mentally and was just a bit of a mess. When I was suddenly snapped out of the place I was in, it was a few days before I was going to Melbourne (as mentioned before), it was like I had the right prescription glasses back on. So those few days before leaving to Melbourne I was just soaking in His love for me and listening to some Dan Mohler. The plane trip from Darwin to Melbourne, including all the waiting time I was just listening to Dan Mohler. So 4+hours of listening to him talk about truth and scripture and identity was just refreshing and it also meant I could just rest my eyes while on the midnight flight, preparing me for going back to the place I used to call home – where my family are. I knew that I need to do what I preach and not just say it and to actually do what I preach means that I have to have intimacy with the Lord. People know and can see through an act when you’re not really loving them genuinely. All I felt to do was just serve my mum, to serve my family and go so low and just love them. There were so many challenges undoubtedly but my love for them never wavered.

God is so kind, He corrects me so lovingly and Father’s me well, I just have to obey what He says. A few things that I’ve learnt and am learning is how to love and how to love well and to not get frustrated or offended by people. 

Being a new creation, being made new in Jesus means dying to self, it means being free, it means being totally transformed into the likeness of Jesus
‘But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.’ II Corinthians 3:18 NKJV
‘We can all draw close to him with the veil removed from our faces. And with no veil we all become like mirrors who brightly reflect the glory of the Lord Jesus . We are being transfigured into his very image as we move from one brighter level of glory to another. And this glorious transfiguration comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.’ TPT
It is literally no longer I that lives but Him in me so I honestly have no right to get offended or upset or angry with people, especially, especially those that don’t know the Father, they don’t know the difference and they’re living in sin. Take my ex stepdad for example, the abuse that happened growing up and the death he spoke over me and over people was because he actually doesn’t know the Father, he does not have a relationship with Jesus and looking at it from that perspective breaks my heart, this is all he knows and he doesn’t know freedom and he doesn’t know love. For years I was angry at him, for years I was bitter, for years I hated myself because of the words he had said to me and because of what others said about me, even when I was a ‘Christian’ I just had no concept of looking through the Father’s perspective. Oh how His heart breaks for His children that aren’t walking with Him or in freedom. How His heart breaks for my ex stepdad, I saw him while I was in Melbourne and I literally felt God’s love for him and my heart broke for him in the midst of him getting angry at me. He doesn’t know God, he doesn’t know the love that God has for him. People tell me that I have every right to be angry with him because he “stole” my childhood from me but I actually have no right to be angry with him, I know God and He is my Father and He has restored my childhood, He has restored the worst years of my life to the point where I feel like my “memory” has been wiped from me. We are to see people through the Father’s eyes, we shouldn’t hold people up to high standards, we are to have forgiveness, to have mercy and to love unconditionally. Do all things for the Kingdom, do all things to expand the Kingdom.
‘And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. ‘ Colossians 3:23-24

But… sometimes it’s actually so much more easier to see people who don’t know the Father with compassion and love and harder for us to see our brothers and sister’s in Christ with the same eyes because of the standards that we have maybe unawarely set for them. We are ALL still learning and growing and there is always so much more room for growth. But we all ought to have a teachable heart and spirit in order for us to grow and we should be so aware of other people who maybe aren’t walking the same pace as you or are struggling or are believing certain lies.

The Church is ONE and should be on the same page as one another. We should all be working together in one accord and our mission all should be to love just as Christ loved us and to expand the kingdom, to shine light in the dark places (which means going to the dark places) and I believe it means to make disciples that make disciples. My love for the Lord is ever so increasing and my daily prayer is to continuously grow, I never want to stop growing in my love for God, growing in wisdom and growing in the word and understanding. I want to grow ALWAYS in faith. What does true faith look like?

I pray that this encourages you, I pray that this challenges you but most of all I pray that you know God’s love for you.

I am very excited to share on my next blog about what the Lord is doing. In the next few months – the last few months of the year, there looks like there will be a bit of traveling involved. God is doing incredible things.


Two significant Testimonies

While on The Jesus School, which was the event I went to in Melbourne and what I went to last year as well. A few of us went out to Lilydale Lake which was a lovely spot, we split off and I had one of my friends come with me who had never done outreach before and was a little bit nervous. We spoke to a few people who sorta blew us off and then we saw a group of guys also from The Jesus School so we just went over to talk to them and see what they were up to, as we were all chatting, two boys caught my eyes and I felt compelled to go to them and share the love of God. I really had no idea what I was going to say but before I knew it I was already walking my way over to them and introduced myself. I got on talking with them and just started sharing about God and they were proceeding to tell me that they really have no idea who God is or anything about Him, which was really overwhelming to hear. These boys were 14/15 and had no idea who God is, I got the opportunity to share the 3 Circles with them and just told them how much He loves them. I shared a bit of my testimony with them and they just asked a few questions. My friend then came over and was observing the conversation and piped in every now and again which was so beautiful and she spoke so well. By the end of the conversation we got to pray for one of the boy’s ankles as it was broken and he was experiencing some pain. We prayed and he got healed, he was so shocked and confused but in that moment he knew God was real and that both of them were so seen and loved by the creator. They didn’t give their lives to God in that moment but they were so genuinely curious and they saw the power of God at work. It was such an awesome time and I was overwhelmed by the love of God for those boys that I couldn’t even walk back to the car. I know that every time he walks he will remember what God did for him and I am so excited for him and his friend.

I am also completely healed of the headaches that I had everyday since February and chronic migraines! I am completely healed. The blood of Jesus heals. I don’t have to take medication anymore for it! Thank You Jesus!

I encourage you to speak to someone today and share the love of God with them.

I also encourage you to listen to this song and listen to the words: 

Design (Spontaneous) UPPERROOM

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